Common Stand-by Costumes for Procrastinators and Lazy People

Happy Halloween you crazy kids! Hopefully you all had wonderful weekends! For myself, I had a lovely night followed by a not-so-lovely morning. And so, I am starting a movement to grant Halloween ONE day of fun. One. Not a weekend. Not a 5-day costume-filled spree. My body can't take the pressure. It hurts too much. Which is why, after slaving away for days on the perfect Gaga costume (pictures to come), I have decided that tonight--on actual Halloween--I am going to be a lazy Halloweener (haha weener...) and go as a comfy biker girl with no heels or special adornment of any kind. I am protesting. And in passionate protests like these, you have to start with numero uno: yourself.

In this regard, I am writing out a list of the easiest and comfiest Halloween costumes you can find at home.

Common Stand-by Costumes for Procrastinators and Lazy People:

#1: A Ghost: Oooo scary....all you need is a sheet and some scissors and you're a scary ghost or a friendly Casper.

#2: A Cowgirl: Easy. A jean skirt or some shorts plus a tied-up checked shirt and some pigtails. Hello, five minute costume. 

#3: Bubblegum: This is mainly a color-dependent outfit. Throw on all the pink you own. You might be mistaken for Pepto Bismol, but only quitters let that hold them back.

#4: White Trash: Litterally (get it? ahh, puns) all you need is a white trash bag. So yes, you'll be wearing a trash bag all night, but that won't stop you from being awesome.

#5: Dexter: If you're feeling in the mood for a cultural reference, go as this good guy serial killer. All you need is an olive-colored shirt, some darker pants, maybe some gloves if you're feeling fancy, and a splash of blood (lipstick is an acceptable substitute).

#6: A Biker Chic: This is my choice for the morrow. You need a bandana, shirt with cut-off sleeves, and draw on some quick skull tattoos, and you're good to go! We can be twinsies.

 
I hope this was helpful for ya'll. Now have a crazy night, you youngsters! Eat way too much candy and silly string the heck out of things.


Images: thecouponess.com, family-vacation-getaways-at-los-angeles-theme-parks.com, thevoguecity.com, unknown, tumblr, electricspoofaloo.com, thisnext.com

Chop Chop

Oh man, lately I've been getting a hankering to cut my hair. Every few years or so I just want to chop it all off, and right now there are so many cute cuts to have. The problem to this hair cut dream, currently, is that I am an actor, and an actor's hair has to match her headshot at all times. They're really stodgy about those sort of things. Unfortunately, my hair in my headshot is long, so I'm stuck with long, flowing hair for the foreseeable future. Curses.

But in the meantime, I'm going to live vicariously with these cute, cute hair pictures.

Pictures thanks to tumblr.

Off I Go!

IT'S MOVING DAY, PEOPLE! I'm off to California! Los Angeles to be specific. I'm so excited. And scared. And anxious. And happy. And relieved. And I have no idea what's going to happen. It was all so fast, this move, and I don't know about any of it. Frankly, I'm as curious as the next guy as to how it will turn out. We'll see. I might miss my family too much and want to come back. Or they'll visit, and I'll go home for the holidays, and it'll be enough. I hope I'll see that I can live my life how and where I want to live it and be really happy. I'm like Liz Lemon, I just want to have it all.

So wish me luck! It's anyone's guess how it'll turn out.


Painting by Ann Sullivan

Navy Men

I'm not sure I mentioned this last week, but I spent the weekend in San Antonio. It was the Navy Ball--haha, blue balls--ahem (composure), there on Friday. I gotta say, I had a great time! I felt like Cinderella emerging from her normal everyday boring clothes into pretty diamonds and expensive shoes. That was, by far, the most dressed up I've been since my high school prom, and it was nice to spend the afternoon getting pretty.

I think every girl needs to go to a ball in her lifetime. Frankly it's kinda sexy. All those men in uniform. Hoo! Plus, there are times during the dinner when all the men stand up and recite their various pledges to the Navy. It may not sound like a big deal, but when 200 men stand with big muscles and booming voices (and they're all very passionate about what they're saying)...oh man, it looks good on them.

Here's some pictures of my night. My biggest regret of the night is that I didn't get a picture of the back of my dress. It was the best part of the dress! It had a open, swoop back (technical term) with a string of diamonds (real, of course) that lined the seam of it. I feel like a fool for not doing an over-the-shoulder picture. What can I say, you don't win 'em all.

I wore Celine shoes with a White House Black Market dress and vintage earrings. 

Jenny Packham strikes again!

Jenny Packham has designed some beautiful bridal dresses for Spring/Summer 2012. I thought I would show them off for her. But honestly, it makes me wonder...why can't you wear wedding dresses on a day other than your wedding? These are just so pretty! I want to wear them to the store. Or brunch. Or a day at the salon.

Hysteria

And another movie about sex...these are flying off the shelves today.

This film, Hysteria, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal describes the invention of the vibrator. Apparently there was a time where doctors would cure women's "hysteria" by giving them a little pleasure downtown. 

(I hear it releases endorphins.) Anyhow, the doctors who were giving this treatment realized they had too much work and too few hands for the, ahem, necessary procedures. Hence the invention of the vibrator. 

Hysteria looks like a grand old time if you ask me. Here's the trailer:

A Dangerous Method

A Dangerous Method--a movie about Freud and Jung.

“Why should we put so much effort into suppressing our most basic natural instincts?”

Prepare yourselves, I'm going to be terribly Freudian today. This movie looks so messed up--penis--but I kind of love it. It seems like--big penis--there's going to be some incredible performances in this movie. It's getting loads of Oscar buzz--on your PENIS.

It's going to be released--sexually, if you know what I mean--on November 23. Just in time for the holidays.

A burger, you ask?

Yes, a burger. I would argue that a burger is one of the most comforting foods a person could have. Evidence: The success of McDonald's and other burger joints. Also, as Liz Lemon states "All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich." I'm including a burger in the sandwich category. But unlike paninis and gyros, it's the AMERICAN SANDWICH. Alongside bologna and cheese.

Voila! AMERICA.

For this particular recipe, I will be giving you the directions for sliders. Because they're fun and little. Like a baby's feet. 

If you don't want sliders, just keep the patties big and huzzah! you have a normal sized burger.

Ingredients for the Sliders:

2 pounds ground beef (80% lean and 20% fat)

3 tbsp olive oil

1 tbsp Dijon mustard

1 tbsp garlic, minced

1 tsp fresh thyme leaves, chopped

1 tbsp steak seasoning

1 tsp Kosher salt 

1/2 tsp pepper

6 oz gruyere cheese, grated (if you prefer cheddar, bleu, or some other cheese, that's cool. live your truth.)

12 mini buns

3 tomatoes, sliced

Lettuce (or arugula if you're feeling fancy)

Any condiments you prefer (I use mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, pickles, grilled onions.)

Directions for the Sliders:
Start a grill. Turn it up to medium high heat. I suppose if you don't have a grill, you could do this on a pan over the stove. 

Gently combine the beef, olive oil, mustard, garlic, thyme, steak seasoning, salt, and pepper. You do this gently because...something about the beef....making it rough or something...? I don't know. Just do things the way I tell you to and it'll taste better. 

Make 12 patties from this beefy mix. 

When the grill (or pan) is hot, place these patties on it and cook for 4-6 minutes on each side. Add the cheese about 2 minutes before the beef is done cooking, so it can melt. Take burgers off the grill and cover tightly for 5 minutes to let them rest. 

Toast the buns if you'd like. Then all you gotta do is put it together however you'd like! (Add lettuce, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc, whateva whateva.)   

Then have a nice little dinner party with your family or friends!

Family Picnic

I don't know about you, but to me, family times are some of my favorite times during the year. I have a moderately big family, so getting everyone together at once is a minor feat. But when it happens, it's usually a grand old time! This past week, the baby (my squishy nephew) was baptized, so everyone cleared their schedules. The sister came up from Tucson and the brothers all gathered together to have a great park day. It was so nice having the whole gang together when the weather turned nice. Here's some pictures:

You all should have picnic days with whoever is family to you!

The Absolute Indisputably Best Chocolate-Chocolate Cake In The Whole Entire World

I've been really slacking on uploading recipes to the blog as of late. I apologize. It's really a problem of laziness. Recipes take so long to write out! Schmir. Alas, this is the cross I must bear. So it is for you, dear reader, that I write out this recipe for The Absolute Indisputably Best Chocolate-Chocolate Cake In The Whole Entire World.*

*working title.

Ingredients for the Cake:
Butter and a sprinkle of flour for the pans

1 3/4 cups flour

2 cups sugar

3/4 cup nice cocoa powder

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp kosher salt

1 cup buttermilk, shaken up

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 eggs at room temperature

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee

Directions for the Cake:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line the bottom of two 8-inch round cake pans with parchment paper and then butter and flour the sides of the pans.

Sift together the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a bowl. Mix until combined (with a mixer). 

In a different bowl, mix the buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla.

Mixing slowly, add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients. Add the coffee. Stop mixing right when it's combined. 

Pour the batter into the pans. 

Bake for 35-40 minutes. 

If you poke the cake with a toothpick, it should come out clean. Let the cakes cool in the pans for a half hour. Then, move/flip them onto a cooling rake to cool all the way. 

Ingredients for the Frosting:

6 oz semisweet chocolate
2 sticks unsalted butter at room temperature
1 egg yolk at room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/4 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
1 tbsp instant coffee powder

Directions for the Frosting:

Melt the chocolate in a double boiler on the stove. 

With an electric mixer, beat the butter until it's light and fluffy (about 3 minutes), then add the egg yolk and vanilla and mix for another 3 minutes. Reduce the speed to low, and then slowly add the sugar. Mix until creamy. 

Dissolve the coffee powder in 2 teaspoons hot water.

On low speed, add the melted chocolate and coffee to the butter/sugar mixture just until blended. 

Directions to Finish the Whole Shebang:

Place one layer of the cake onto a plate/cake tray/pedestal/your hand. If you put the top of the cake onto the plate (upside down from how it cooked), it'll work good. 

Spread the frosting onto the top of it. 

Now put the next layer of cake on top of that right side up (the same way it cooked), then your cake won't tilt or anything. 

Now frost the whole sucker and ENJOY!

Get in my mouth.

Makeup: Like milk, but not really.

Makeup does the body good. (See how I inserted "makeup" in the place of "milk"? This is quality wordplay here, people.) 

Walking Walking. 

Makeup is a great way to express yourself. The trick is walking the line between "artsy" and "4th grader's art class on your face". It's a delicate, flimsy balancing act. It's fun to go crazy with brow liner or mascara or eyeshadow or lipstick--oh man, I could go on: eyeliner, blush, gloss, etc etc etc--but you don't want to end up looking like a clown or...how shall i say..."woman of the night". 

So I've separated the major makeup trends of the upcoming season into two sections: Day-to-Day Wearable Looks and Looks Best Reserved for the Runway (Or Halloween!). While I would guard against the latter for work meetings or date nights, I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND them for Halloween. So let your freak flags fly ladies, we're going out on the town!

Day-to-Day Wearable Looks:

Louis Vuitton

Sonia Rykiel

Dolce & Gabbana

Donna Karan

Christian Dior

Anthony Vaccarello

Just Cavalli

Versace

Moschino

Derek Lam

Gianfranco Ferre

I'm loving the big lashes, strong lips, and bold eyebrows! To die!

And now:

Looks Best Reserved for the Runway (Or Halloween!):

Fendi

Viktor & Rolf

Mugler

Gareth Pugh

Manish Arora

They're art, don't get me wrong. But I doubt your date would be cool with gigantic glitter eyebrows. But if you don't like my words, PROVE ME WRONG. I welcome it. As long as you send pics. 


Thanks elle.com for the lovely photographs.