Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Bothered

Do you ever have those days where you just bother yourself? Sometimes I just feel like a douche bag. I don't know if you know, but bossiness is so sexy. And being a know-it-all--hot. Yeah, do that some more, people love it.

Just a little dose of self-loathing this fine Monday evening. Have a nice day, all.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Cliche: Live each day as if it were your last.

Cliche: Live each day as if it were your last.

The funny thing about cliches is that there's always a kernel of truth to them--that's how they become cliches in the first place. Enough people think it/ say it/ believe it that it becomes somewhat universal. 

"Live each day as if it were your last." It's just so...tutorial. As if everyone was just sleeping their days away, twiddling their thumbs til the day they died. And yet, isn't that sometimes the case? I know it can be for me. I'm going through the motions--job, food, parents, friends, sleep--scheduling a bit of time every day for certain essentials, but really, is any new day different from the last? I'm not having new experiences. Certainly not anything I would remember in 5 years or 1 year or 1 month. If I died today, would I have lived a day happy enough or important enough to be my last? Did I kiss the person I wanted to kiss? Did I hug my parents? Did I do more than idly survive?

And then, accompanied with this warning of our wasted days, comes the thought--am I appreciating the things worth appreciating? The last kiss I had with my boyfriend--I don't even remember it. For that matter, I can't recall our first kiss. The last time I said "I love you"--did I put my whole heart in it? The last time we had sex--did I savor it? Because all these things go by so quickly, and if I don't make an effort to remember them, they will be lost to me forever. How sad it is to lose these moments. Are the pictures of our lives that we take in our heads doing our lives justice? Do we take the time out in these important moments to label them "do not disturb" or "confidential" or "fragile"? I don't know. If I had to venture a guess, I would say probably not.

I guess, in this mess of an entry, I'm trying to say: live a life worth living. Tell those that are important to you that you love them. Appreciate your worlds even if life seems too difficult to appreciate. It makes surviving it that much easier. And in the wise words of my sister: "think of life as an unplanned blessing in disguise". It isn't all for nothing.